His death was announced only a few hours ago and you've already managed to distill everything I instinctively knew - but had never articulated - about Friends and fame and celebrity crushes into a couple of thousand perfectly-chosen words. Thank you for your essay - and for your eloquence.
Damn. I didn’t know he had died. That show helped me a lot when I was working overseas and homesick or when I had the fear from long, alcoholic binges. I also didn’t know Perry had addiction issues. I’m gonna read his autobiography for sure. Thankfully I got sober, but it’s still a journey.
I feel the same for Elvis and still regret the short lives of people who give and gave me so much pleasure during my life of dead end jobs, (I stopped counting the number of companies I worked for which went bankrupt during the 1970’s and 1980’s). In the end it all came right, normal marriage, two children, six grandchildren, a house with no mortgage, the opportunity to help my grown up children buy their own homes. No, I don’t know how to cope with old age soI just keep living as if I was 50. It seems to work.
Well this is just the best thing I’ve read following his death. Friends was just as important to me, I credit the show with getting me out of depression and giving me a good example of what my adult life could by like. I was a fashion merchandising major because of Rachel Green, and moved to France thinking I could work in fashion there too--just like she was going to! Even if I just hung out with a bunch of friends at a coffee shop I knew my life would be so fun!
We all get this, what Friends meant to us, but we rarely get a chance to admit it. So I appreciate the moment to read your words and know we all felt the same way!! RIP Matthew Perry!
This is a lovely piece, particularly at the end where you wish he had enjoyed his life more and had more years - I feel the same. He was by far the most believable, least caricatured of the six of them and I’ve never thought about it till now but that’s got to be why he was so many’s favourite! Ps. I wore a friends logo t-shirt to the gym today in tribute (“I wanna quit the gym!”) and when I got home I googled t-shirts with that quote on. They absolutely exist and I am absolutely getting one and wearing it to the gym!
I have read what seems like a Mount Everest of garbage about Matthew Perry since his death, as is always the case in the modern era of commentary on anything, but particularly celebrities. This essay is a wonderful exception, you have managed to write about your personal connection to someone you did not know in a layered, thoughtful and convincing way - and managed to write about how he affected you without making it about you. Thank god for Substack.
Thank you so much Helen, for articulating so beautifully what Friends meant to so many of us, plus such a spot on commentary about how fame is really what we project and recognise in ourselves. I just love your writing.
Wow. Brilliant writing. I used to watch Friends with my wife and daughters. I worked away a lot during that period and it was our 'dad's home' comfort blanket. Our last all watch it together show. Such a shame that in bringing me so much joy Matthew Perry was suffering so much. Sad day.
What a beautiful tribute. I also always most connected to chandler’s weirdness, and this show will forever be my favourite and the thing I’m nostalgic towards the most. I learned English watching friends :’)
His death was announced only a few hours ago and you've already managed to distill everything I instinctively knew - but had never articulated - about Friends and fame and celebrity crushes into a couple of thousand perfectly-chosen words. Thank you for your essay - and for your eloquence.
Some people burn so bright that it shortens their lives. I believe.
So beautifully written, this has put into words the sad feeling that’s been knocking around my brain all morning.
this is a remarkable piece. thank you for it
Damn. I didn’t know he had died. That show helped me a lot when I was working overseas and homesick or when I had the fear from long, alcoholic binges. I also didn’t know Perry had addiction issues. I’m gonna read his autobiography for sure. Thankfully I got sober, but it’s still a journey.
I feel the same for Elvis and still regret the short lives of people who give and gave me so much pleasure during my life of dead end jobs, (I stopped counting the number of companies I worked for which went bankrupt during the 1970’s and 1980’s). In the end it all came right, normal marriage, two children, six grandchildren, a house with no mortgage, the opportunity to help my grown up children buy their own homes. No, I don’t know how to cope with old age soI just keep living as if I was 50. It seems to work.
Hey I like your 50 bc that's how I also feel. Might need to use as my own. Thanks
A great piece Helen - poignant and insightful - thank you.
Wonderful tribute. RIP Matthew Perry.
My favourite Chandler moment is when he gets stuck in the ATM with Jill Goodacre "gum would be perfection" and you get to hear his internal dialogue
Mine too!
Well this is just the best thing I’ve read following his death. Friends was just as important to me, I credit the show with getting me out of depression and giving me a good example of what my adult life could by like. I was a fashion merchandising major because of Rachel Green, and moved to France thinking I could work in fashion there too--just like she was going to! Even if I just hung out with a bunch of friends at a coffee shop I knew my life would be so fun!
We all get this, what Friends meant to us, but we rarely get a chance to admit it. So I appreciate the moment to read your words and know we all felt the same way!! RIP Matthew Perry!
This is a lovely piece, particularly at the end where you wish he had enjoyed his life more and had more years - I feel the same. He was by far the most believable, least caricatured of the six of them and I’ve never thought about it till now but that’s got to be why he was so many’s favourite! Ps. I wore a friends logo t-shirt to the gym today in tribute (“I wanna quit the gym!”) and when I got home I googled t-shirts with that quote on. They absolutely exist and I am absolutely getting one and wearing it to the gym!
I have read what seems like a Mount Everest of garbage about Matthew Perry since his death, as is always the case in the modern era of commentary on anything, but particularly celebrities. This essay is a wonderful exception, you have managed to write about your personal connection to someone you did not know in a layered, thoughtful and convincing way - and managed to write about how he affected you without making it about you. Thank god for Substack.
Thank you so much Helen, for articulating so beautifully what Friends meant to so many of us, plus such a spot on commentary about how fame is really what we project and recognise in ourselves. I just love your writing.
Wow. Brilliant writing. I used to watch Friends with my wife and daughters. I worked away a lot during that period and it was our 'dad's home' comfort blanket. Our last all watch it together show. Such a shame that in bringing me so much joy Matthew Perry was suffering so much. Sad day.
What a beautiful tribute. I also always most connected to chandler’s weirdness, and this show will forever be my favourite and the thing I’m nostalgic towards the most. I learned English watching friends :’)
God its so beautifully written! Please get it published on something bigger wider than Substack!
I believe this substack already has 17,000+ subscribers!
I recently read his memoir and so agree with your last paragraph